maybe I'm just a girl, maybe its just normal to want to be with someone. i just need to switch off for awhile,
but he can be so nice, but is it real, he's not straightforward, how can you trust that? you need honesty before you can have anything real or lasting, and he has proven over again that he cant be straightforward, he knows how i feel and shows little regard for that. i just keep getting caught remembering moments when he did show tenderness and compassion. i want to see him and spend time with him and not feel hurt, how do i do that? i cant stop myself from fantasising that maybe he could love me in return one day...bloody pathetic...
how do i stop being me? that seems the only way i'm going to stop myself from getting into these pathetic situations
its like he wants to hurt me, i would be happy just cruising along, seeing him when i do, talking from time to time etc then he goes and does something that seems designed purely to hurt, whats with that?
he doesnt make sense, wish someone could make sense of it for me.